September 4
Aidan's birthday
is still a birthday.
We don't just remember him. We celebrate him.
Before the gathering
The elephants go first.
Every year, my mom and I deliver Aidan's Elephants to UAMS and its Love Lives bereavement program. There are also elephants at Saline County, Arkansas Children's, and Washington Regional, where Aidan was born.
We go to UAMS every year because it is also where Kellan and Logan were born.
5:15 PM
We gather.
Family and friends meet at Aidan's spot. Each year we find a different way to release something into the sky—balloons, lanterns, poppers, butterflies.
Different traditions, the same meaning: we remember, we release, and we carry him with us.
5:38 PM
Happy Birthday, Aidan.
At the exact time Aidan was born, we sing Happy Birthday. We have a birthday treat, take pictures, and marvel at the time that has passed.
Because he is our son. He is a piece of our family. He is worth celebrating.
A Birthday, Not Just a Memorial
We make room for
joy and grief.
There is grief here. There is also cake, laughter, photographs, family, friends, and the simple act of singing Happy Birthday to our son.
His brothers have learned what it means to live amongst grief and still find the joy. They speak his name. They ask questions.